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by  |  29-Jan-2018 07:32

Sure, Miami's endless pool parties, sneakers stores literally staffed by models, and pretty much any event featuring the Dolphin Cheerleaders have a lot going for them, but the best way to enjoy South Florida's natural, and...

um, unnatural beauty is in the area's finer gentlemen's establishments, which we've tirelessly scoured just so you'll know where to go for some great pizza, a chance to see a rapper, and, if you're lucky, get a really great value. There are times -- like the first three and a half quarters of every NBA game ever -- when the game is pretty meaningless and you need a nice distraction.

There’s strip clubs that keep it real, and there’s strip clubs that have a plume of smoke worthy of Trick Daddy’s limousine come out as soon as you open the door.

Take One’s the second one where the smell of…let’s say Black and Milds……is so strong that after half an hour inside you’ll be making a B-line for the nearest combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell.

oh, and a full food and drink menu, this cavernous spot is the king of strip clubs, at least if you listen to literally all the rappers and are a fan of all the athletes who show up on the regular. Sure this low-ceiling'd, very neon-heavy, spot'll ply you with drinks from it's full bar, or snacks from it's limited menu, but the focus here is on the girls, who you can watch from a table overlooking their small, glass-tiered main stage, or see up close in their recently(-ish) redone, and very private, champagne room.

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She has probably "been there and done that," so she may be looking for a long-term relationship and plans to settle down. …
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It’s best to stay away from the conversation altogether.…
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